I've changed after being cheated on. Has this happened to anyone else?

by V-

I don't trust people initially or entirely

I don't trust people initially or entirely

After I was cheated on by my ex wife, I am totally a different person coming out the other side. I went through the hell of infidelity and divorce, but after the dust settled I am such a different person.


I use to be the person that would look to avoid confrontation at all cost, but that is not the case anymore. I wouldn't say that I go out of my way to find a fight to take on, but I certainly will call a spade a spade and find comfort in calling out people that I know are lying.

An example in work is, I will document everything and I have even recorded my supervisor in a meeting by using my phone. Later on, it came up that I was wrong because I never brought to light an issue we were having in our department. My supervisor tried to throw me under the bus and after she wouldn't fess up, I brought up the recording of our meeting in which I clearly stated what I thought needed to be changed and even who I thought wasn't pulling their weight. Bam! I felt so good to catch her in a lie.

I was never that person before I was cheated on by my ex-wife, but I have become that person. I would like to know if anyone here was changed in any way after going through infidelity. I mean, the change may be for good or bad. I'm curious to know how cheating changes a person. I know what is has done to me.

I am now skeptical of all relationships, even when I hear someone else tell me about how happy they are. My initial thought is that I want to tell them, 'you just wait'. I also now know that I do not want to be in another relationship and quite frankly I know that because of the way I now look at things, I wouldn't be a good husband or boyfriend for that matter.

When I meet a woman, I tell them within two days of us talking that I am not looking for a relationship. I know this is bad because most 'so called nice women' will run as fast as possible after hear this. I know this, but I have become who I am and that is not a liar.

I would also like to know if anyone changed after being cheated on initially and then later changed again in some form. I don't want to think Im a bad person, so hoping to hear from others.

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starstarstarstarstar 		We all change after cheating- I became very depressed after being cheated on
by: Chris

After I was cheated on I became very depressed after my divorce was finalized. I was strong all the through the process but when it was done I just spiraled into depression.

I think every is changed in a different way after infidelity but I went through so low times. I am still not back to saying that I am a happy person.

I think during the divorce I realized that my ex-wife and I were better off away from each other and I don't think I was really missing her physically during the entire process.

However, when it was done I am not sure if it was the feeling that I failed, and that I was a loser, and that I didn't do everything to maintain the relationship that we had when we were in love and starting out.

I am only now starting to understand and come to terms that i was not all to blame. I have since started going back to church and while I take responsibility for a lot that happened I also am learning to forgive my wife and more importantly myself.

I still have a long way to go, but cheating changes everyone in someway I think. Whether they will admit it or not. Unfortunately the next person to come along in the new relationship usually bears the brunt in some form.

I think you have to find and outlet. In my case I started to regain faith through my church.

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