Surviving Infidelity will guide you through your difficult times as you struggle with trying to pick up the pieces in your life. Your pain will not go away simply by reading this, however if you follow my advice you will be on the right path to recovery.
Infidelity is devastating and even the strongest marriages will have a difficult time overcoming the obstacles that it will encounter. In an ideal situation, going to a couple’s therapist is your single best option when surviving infidelity and trying to beat the odds of surviving an affair.
If this is not an option for you at this time, you will need to begin taking baby steps in the right direction that will eventually build the momentum that you need to overcome your spouse’s adultery.
All Affairs Are Not Equal
In order to survive infidelity, it is best that you have a clear understanding as to what went wrong in your marriage. Please know that by wrong, I am by no means implying that you did anything wrong to deserve being cheated on. However, understanding and recognizing the type of affair that your spouse had, will tell you how serious of a commitment your spouse had with their lover.
• Serial Affair
• Romantic Love Affair
• Long Term Affair
Understanding Why Affairs Happen
When you discover that your spouse is being unfaithful, one of the first questions that will come to mind will be, “What is wrong with me?”
The unfortunate thing is nothing has to be wrong with you in order to be cheated on. If the problem was with you, you could simply work on that flaw in order to save your marriage. Surviving infidelity doesn’t usually work that way. That would be too easy.
Please take solace in knowing that the problem lies with the cheater and not with you. It is their behavior that is at fault.
• Bored in the Relation
• Need For Attention
• Lack of Sex in the Marriage
• Exit Affair
Affairs come to light in many ways, but no matter which way you discover it, it will surely be a crushing blow to your marriage.
However, the revelation of an affair is rock bottom. Your emotions will be all over the place. Do you confront your spouse or not?
You will need to learn to take it day by day while trying to survive infidelity. Coping with the pain will be your most difficult hurdle, but you can accomplish it by having a support system in place.
This is the time that you need the ones you can trust in your life. You may be hesitant because of embarrassment, but find the courage and strength to share your situation with the ones you trust. For you it may be your parents, for someone else a best friend.
“Few delights can equal the mere presence of one whom we trust utterly.” --George MacDonald
Make the Decision for a Better Life
After discovering an affair, your life will never be the same. You may forgive, but you will never forget. This is a reality of your new life. You are now faced with the decision of whether or not to stay and fight for your marriage or walk away.
The ultimate decision will lie with you and only you. This decision should be made only after you have truly had the time to absorb and reflect all that has taken place. Making this decision while you are emotionally unstable should be avoided. If you choose to leave, you may still do so after you have had the time to rationalize your thoughts.
Can the love in your marriage be strengthened after an affair?
Will you ever be able to forgive your spouse?
Will you allow yourself an honest chance to be happy in this marriage again someday?
These are just a few questions that you will need to answer for yourself.
plenty of marriages that have gone on to become even stronger after an
affair, but there needs to be a commitment from both partners in order
to make surviving infidelity a reality.
If you ever reach the point in which you know with 100% certainty that you can not commit to the recovery process because of resentment, the choice to walk away from the marriage should be your only option.
Surviving infidelity will be a long winding road full of surprises. Your new life will have to consist of expectations, compromises, and a level of commitment that will set the foundation for the rebuilding of your marriage.
The fact that you are in this situation is a harsh reminder that life isn’t always fair, but it is still good. Keep one thing in mind; no one is in charge of your happiness except you!
The best is yet to come!