When you get to the point where you say “My wife is cheating on me,” your feelings and emotions are in such a confused jumble you may not even know what to do next. It's not an easy situation to be in or figure out what to do with, but you can't make any hasty decisions.
When it comes down to it, you have to do what's best for you and take care of yourself. So what exactly are you supposed to do when you find out your wife is cheating?
Pile up your evidence
If you go to your wife with blatant accusations without anything to back them up and you turn out to be wrong, you're going to hurt her feelings and could very well damage your marriage.
You need some type of actual proof that backs up your claims, and once you have it all compiled, it's time to show it to her and find out what she has to say about it.
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Talk to your spouse
As difficult as it is, you have to talk to your wife. It's certainly not going to be an easy situation, but it has to be done. You have to be open, honest and express your thoughts in a way she'll hear you. It's going to be incredibly hard, but try to avoid screaming. All it's going to do is escalate the situation and neither one of you will really hear each other. If you want answers, you have to be willing to listen.
Don't act out of anger
Your instinct may be to punch a hole in the wall, immediately call for a divorce or go after the guy your wife cheated with, but all of those actions are only going to be done in the heat of the moment and won't make you feel any better for more than a few minutes.
You have to get your emotions under control, take a few steps back and take some time to yourself to figure out what you want to do. Only make a decision about what to do next when you are calmer and have a clear head.
Talk to someone
Whether you talk to a therapist, a religious adviser or your best friend, you have to talk to someone. Saying the words “My wife is cheating on me” is going to be one of the hardest things you'll ever have to do, but keeping it to yourself is going to do absolutely no good and is going to cause you to be in pain for longer and possibly make some decisions you'll later regret.
Talking to someone can help you clear your head and get your thoughts straight so you can figure out what's best for you and make your next move.
Talk to a lawyer
Talking to a lawyer doesn't mean you're filing for divorce, but it does mean you're finding out what your options are, especially when it comes to the finances. It can help you figure out your next steps and fill your wife in on the options while you're at it.
Come up with a healing plan
Whether you decide to stay with your wife or you're going to opt for a divorce, you have to come up with a healing plan for yourself. It's important to stay as strong as possible whichever option you choose. If you decide to stay, couples counseling would be ideal. Getting through it on your own is going to make the process last much longer and could make it even more difficult.
Should you opt for a divorce, you'll have to figure out living arrangements as well as find activities to engage in that can help you get through the rough time. Regardless of what decision you choose, make sure to lean on your support system and find an outlet, such as meditation or exercise that can help you release all those pent up negative emotions you don't know what to do with.
When you actually say the words “My wife is cheating on me,” it's going to make the situation suddenly feel absolutely real and it's going to hit you like a ton of bricks. Don't let all that pain and anger consume you.
Regardless of what you choose to do, you have to start immediately working to get yourself back to a better place. As cliché as it is, things really will get better with time, you just need to allow yourself that time to properly heal.