I Am In Love: Just One of the Excuses Used for Cheating

When some cheaters are asked why, they often offer the, “I am in love” excuse. They’ll admit they still love their spouse, but that they’ve “fallen in love” with this other person, too.


Sadly, if this person is also an habitual cheater, then chances are that they are not really in love with the person they’re cheating with. No, they’re in love with love. They are addicted to being in love, and they crave those feelings they experience with each new love.

I am in Love: The In-Love-with-Being-in-Love Reason for Cheating

Without a doubt the feelings, emotions and even physical symptoms of being in love are addicting. Sadly some people live for the feelings they get when they think about or are with the object of their love:

  • Shiver or get goose bumps just thinking about the other person
  • Blush or get sweaty
  • Skin or lips tingle
  • Smile over nothing
  • Stomach butterflies or flip flops
  • Warm fuzzies
  • Lump in the throat

Those are just the ephemeral physical responses one often gets in the beginning stages of being in love. For some people, especially women, those feelings, the high, is the attractive part of being in love. It’s the fun part of being in love.

I am in Love: The Love Addiction Cheater

Unfortunately, a love addiction doesn’t always bode well for the success of committed relationships or marriage. Here are a few other symptoms of being a love addict:

  • You are always looking for love
  • You fall in love quickly and easily
  • You fantasize about future and past loves
  • You find it hard to concentrate on work and other everyday tasks because you’re distracted by thoughts of the one you love.
  • You tend to be very needy, and have been accused of “smothering”.

I am in Love: Justifications for Cheating

When the cheater is married the excuse of being in love must also be justified in their mind. After all, chances are they didn’t plan on falling in love…or at least that’s what they tell themselves, so there has to be a reason why they fell in love with someone other than their spouse. You’ll notice that all too often these excuses actually blame the spouse being cheated on.

  • My emotional needs weren’t being met 
  • My spouse doesn’t like sex; I need more sex than my spouse
  • My spouse is no longer attractive
  • The other person makes me feel good
  • It was a mistake to get married
  • I’m bored
  • I don’t love my spouse anymore

I am In Love: Leads to Disappointment and Loss

Sadly, the common thread throughout the whole idea of falling in love with someone other than your spouse is basic selfishness and immaturity. Male or female, if a person has never grown up mentally and emotionally, then being able to live out a marital commitment is almost impossible.

In fact, each of the justifications for cheating is based on pure selfishness. They are all about “my” feelings and how “I” feel. Cheaters, when looking to justify being in love as a reason for cheating on a spouse, can only focus on themselves.

They are basically incapable of considering anyone other than themselves, and because of that they also lack the ability to be honest. In addition to lying to others they end up lying to themselves about why they cheat.

Nine times out of ten after their affair causes the end of their marriage, they suddenly discover they can no longer say they’re in love. Whether they were in love because of a love of being in love or an addiction to love, they will quickly move on once again, seeking the next thrill and next high, all too often leaving pain and brokenness behind them.

Return from I am in Love to Causes of Infidelity