21 Signs of Emotional Infidelity that May Indicate Trouble in Your Marriage

These 21 signs of emotional infidelity may apply to either you or your spouse and may indicate that things are not alright on the home front. If you are looking at these for your spouse, your best tool is going to be the intimate knowledge you have of your spouse’s personality and normal behaviors.


Then again, as you are reading these signs of emotional infidelity you may even be surprised to find that perhaps you are also skating on the rim of moving from emotional cheating into a full-blown affair.

We’ve formatted these signs of emotional infidelity as questions where answering in the affirmative or negative may help you more quickly determine whether emotional infidelity is an issue in your marriage.

Questions to Help You Identify These Signs of Emotional Infidelity

  1. Are you sharing your intimate thoughts and feelings with someone other than your spouse, things you used to share with your spouse?

  2. Are you feeling more “connected” to this other person than to your spouse?

  3. Do you find yourself looking for opportunities to bring this person’s name into conversations with others, even with your spouse?

  4. Do you spend more time with this person than with your spouse, and even contrive ways to be in their presence?

  5. Have you lied to your spouse about occasions when you’ve spent time with this other person?

  6. Do you feel sexually attracted to this other person?

  7. Do you feel like you are cheating on this person when you are intimate with your spouse?

  8. Do you find yourself pulling away and avoiding physical intimacy with your spouse?

  9. Do you find yourself daydreaming or thinking about this person even when you are with your spouse?

  10. Are you spending more effort on your appearance when you are going to see this other person than you do when you are with your spouse?

  11. Have you made changes to your appearance with the thought of whether it would please the other person?

  12. Have you changed your passwords to hide your online activity from your spouse?

  13. Do you secretly call or text this person?

  14. Have you lied to your spouse about your activities when you’ve been with this other person?

  15. Do you discuss the intimate details of your marriage relationship with this other person, rather than discussing them with your spouse?

  16. Do you feel jealous when this other person spends time with someone else?

  17. Do you find yourself looking for the least little reason to touch this person, even if it’s just the accidental brush of the hands or touch of shoulders when standing next to each other?

  18. Do you feel uncomfortable, guilty or on edge when you, your spouse and this other person are together at the same time?

  19. Do you delete text messages from this other person to keep your spouse from seeing them?

  20. Do you feel nervous or worried about your spouse seeing you with this other person?

  21. Has your spouse expressed any concerns about you and this other person, and have you laughed off those concerns with: “Oh, we’re just friends!” or just brushed away your spouse’s concerns?

If you’ve answered “yes” to any of these 21 signs of emotional infidelity, then chances are good that your marriage is in trouble. If you want to save your marriage, then now might be the time to cut off contact with this other person.

If the very thought of not being around this other person starts a panic in you, then you need to decide whether you are going to abide by your marriage vows or turn and walk away.

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