Trying to Move On

by Stephanie Masterson
(Edgewood, TX USA)

Those feelings I felt,I remember as if it were yesterday,

The happiness, The Love, The trust- Who knew it would come with such a high penalty.
I let you tear down the wall that I had built that protected me-
What a fool I was to think we could live happily.
After 2 failed marriages I finally found my soul mate in you,
I gave you everything in me only to learn you were never true.
When we were in Reno getting married i knew-
I just felt that I could never be good enough for you.
But I loved you so much and didn't listen to my gut,
Me not listening, it cost me big time-Way too much.
How do you think I felt when I found out about your betrayal?
How do you think it made me feel knowing that i married a bisexual?
You to this day deny being bisexual or gay,
But if you were not, you wouldn't have met with men in hotels to play.
I remember every email, every text, every group, every photo and chat,
Reading what you did with these men and how much you enjoyed that.
You not only ripped out my heart and soul,
You stole my ability to have mind control.
You took away my happy and left me with anger.
Who would have thought that living with you would be such a danger.
A danger to your heart, your mind, your body, and self esteem.
Who would have thought that you could turn such a nice woman into something mean.
You say that you love me and the drugs made you cheat on me,
I did drugs too but I love you enough to live faithfully.
Drugs do not make us do things we do not want to do,
They just give us the courage to do what we wanted to.
I am trying so hard to forget about all those people you slept with and move on,
But I think I learned too much and think you are acting a ton.
Acting as if you were IN love with me and you tell me to trust you,
Never will I ever be able to. So now what do we do